As the birds and the bees emerge this April, the sunlight has sparked something lustful in UofT students everywhere. Perhaps no student has tapped into her sexual prowess more than second-year English major Jessica Wilson. Wilson, who has been dating her boyfriend for two years, never understood the allure of dirty talk. But, upon taking ENG223: Introduction to Shakespeare this semester, Wilson found herself connected to language like never before; she now considers herself a professional dirty yapper.
Wilson’s boyfriend told The Boundary he is unhappy with the recent developments: “I mean, at first I thought it was kind of hot, like she was all intellectual and poetic. But, now? She hasn’t stopped dressing up as Shakespeare for the past three months, and, honestly, I think I’d rather go back to reading my fan-fic in solitude.”
The Boundary asked Wilson to give us a taste of her skills, to which Wilson keenly wrote back:
Oh, how you beg for more, you naughty thing,
With ev’ry thrust, I feel your pleasure ring.
You whisper, as we reach a fever’d height,
In dirty talk, we find our pure delight.
The Boundary’s sex correspondent encourages those who wish to spice up their sex lives enrol in ENG223 ASAP.
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