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  • Keah Sharma

English Major Only Talks Dirty in Iambic Pentameter

As the birds and the bees emerge this April, the sunlight has sparked something lustful in UofT students everywhere. Perhaps no student has tapped into her sexual prowess more than second-year English major Jessica Wilson. Wilson, who has been dating her boyfriend for two years, never understood the allure of dirty talk. But, upon taking ENG223: Introduction to Shakespeare this semester, Wilson found herself connected to language like never before; she now considers herself a professional dirty yapper. 

Wilson’s boyfriend told The Boundary he is unhappy with the recent developments: “I mean, at first I thought it was kind of hot, like she was all intellectual and poetic. But, now? She hasn’t stopped dressing up as Shakespeare for the past three months, and, honestly, I think I’d rather go back to reading my fan-fic in solitude.” 

The Boundary asked Wilson to give us a taste of her skills, to which Wilson keenly wrote back: 

Oh, how you beg for more, you naughty thing,

With ev’ry thrust, I feel your pleasure ring.

You whisper, as we reach a fever’d height,

In dirty talk, we find our pure delight.

The Boundary’s sex correspondent encourages those who wish to spice up their sex lives enrol in ENG223 ASAP.



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