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IR Student: Russia-Ukraine Some "Pretty Serious Shit"



The Munk School of Global Affairs has been a buzz of activity in the wake of mounting international tensions. For weeks now, Russia has had more than 100,000 troops stationed on Ukraine’s border while diplomatic efforts to resolve the impasse intensify. The situation is complex, with culture, history, and politics all serving as a backdrop to the potential invasion. Enter Owen Simpson.


The fourth-year International Relations student was a handful of G&Ts deep at Pour Boy when the topic of Russia-Ukraine surfaced. Violently turning towards his friends at the table, he began explaining the situation.


“Putin knows exactly what he’s doing,” Simpson shouted while pointing at his friend Charles, “it’s what we call ‘constructivism.’ Basically, the whole thing is some pretty serious shit, as Dr. Pauly would say.” Simpson’s friends uncomfortably glanced around and apologised to the pub’s live musicians who couldn’t hear themselves over the IR student’s 43-minute long slurred speech.


As the night went on, the table became rowdier. Other patrons described the scene as “ignorant,” “entitled,” and “blatantly misinformed.” Simpson, now a dozen units deep and missing his friends’ cues to change the subject, belligerently asserted, “I work as a student intern at Global Affairs Canada, I know what I’m talking about.” He would later pass out and have to be taken home in an Uber.


Photo Credit: Emilio Ortelli

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