Ottawa Police: "We'll Definitely Get It Done Over Reading Week"

OTTAWA - After weeks of inaction, the Ottawa Police are finally gearing up to remove protestors from Wellington Street and the area around Centre Block. Critics have taken this opportunity to unload into the force and their incompetence.

“We know what’s in front of us,” interim police chief Steve Bell tells The Boundary. “We’ve been dealing with petty thievery, local drunkards, that sorta thing. Sure, I’ll admit there was some procrastinating going on. But Reading Week is here, and there’s no better time to start being productive.”

The interim police chief assures that Ottawa’s Finest will use this Reading Week to complete overdue assignments, including arresting illegal protestors besieging the city they are sworn to protect. The police also look forward to catching up on sleep, which has been hard to come by in the nation’s capital: “Someone should do something about all that honking!”