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Daniel Golden

Russian Student Celebrates One-Year of Being Ukrainian



It’s been over a year since the Russian invasion of Ukraine plunged Europe into chaos. For many, this anniversary has brought about a sombre reflection on the horrors of war. For Natasha Konstantinovna Dovlatova, a native of Yekaterinburg, it marks one year since the westward shift of her national identity.


“It has been a tough year for us Ukranians” blurts Dovlatova between spoonfuls of borscht. “We, I mean those Rooskie devils think that we, I mean they, can just seize whatchamac- I mean my homeland of Ukraine.”


When asked how she is contributing to the war effort in her far flung fatherland, Dovlatova defensively insisted that she only wears blue and yellow tracksuits and shouts “Slava Ukraini'' at least three dozen times a day, often unprompted. She further elaborated that many of her friends and family are on the front lines of the conflict but has declined to reveal their names, ranks, or the country they are currently fighting for.


When pressed about the reasons for her Slavic switcheroo, Dovlatova confessed that it was motivated by more than her (suspiciously recent) love of Ukrainian culture and unflinching sense of justice. “Frankly” admits Dovlatova “I was just tired of being blamed for what’s going on. People were treating me as if Putin was my father. For the record he’s my uncle and he hardly ever takes my advice on foreign policy”.


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