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  • Natalie Cader-Beutel

Tragic: Loner Student Spends Friendsgiving With Family

Thanksgiving, or Canadian Thanksgiving for those new to the culture, takes place yearly on the second Monday of October. People thank God for the harvest or something silly like that. The undoubtedly more meaningful tradition among Canadian university students is Friendsgiving, where besties new and old get together to share a dorm-made meal and riveting conversation.

Tragically, on account of him having no friends, second year computer science student Arnie Charles will be unable to properly celebrate this holy day. As a last resort, Charles has made the bold decision to return to his unchosen family for the weekend. “I don’t want to talk about it,” bristled Charles. “Actually, it’s been a while since someone talked to me, so I’m gener– I mean generally out of practice.”

The Boundary reached out to Arnie’s biological family for comment. His mother Anne-Marie told us that she is “very happy to have Arnie home for the holiday.” She continued, saying that “they have been looking forward to getting everyone together. This is an important day in the Charles household.” It seems that Anne-Marie is unaware of the tragedy that has befallen her son.

Arnie’s Don at University College, Francis Wright, happened to be walking by while Arnie was packing up for the pilgrimage back to Kitchener-Waterloo-Cambridge. Wright, standing a mere two feet away from Charles, claimed he “doesn’t know anyone named Arnie.” When prompted to comment further, Wright refused, apologizing to our Boundary rep: “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go. There’s a big Friendsgiving event I’m heading to soon. Wanna pre with me before?”

Arnie retreated to his hometown for no doubt, a depressing weekend. The pre and later Friendsgiving with Don Wright was lit though, according to a source extremely close to The Boundary.



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