Area Social Justice Warriors Refuel at Fat Bastard Burrito Co. After Fiery 'Anti-Stereotype' Rally

 

Toronto, ON: Between jaw-stretching bites of a soaking-wet 'Baja Chipotle Chicken' burrito, self-described social justice warrior and group organizer Kenneth Waltz trumpeted the vocal, morning rally around King's College Circle and his group's "total lack of toleration" for campus discrimination and stereotyping. Throwing his used napkins -- emblazoned with the hilarious portrait of a simple-looking Mexican man -- to the floor, he greeted the gaggle of protesters as they entered the busy restaurant. 

 

Filing into the shop, the exhausted warriors collectively eased into an eight-person table to dissect the protest and "smack each other's backs for a job well done." High-fives were thrown around, and most seemed to be updating their resumes upon arrival to include their crucial role in the protest. 

 

Emma McInnis, the group's leader, said the event "could not have gone any better. We're out there..." McInnis trailed off, appearing to answer an errant Snapchat. "Shit, what was I saying? Right, we're out there to protest and rebel against, like, politics." A sea of nodding heads raged after McInnis's comments. 

 

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper