Students Looking a Little Bit Fatter

Toronto, ON: People are looking marginally more rotund around the University of Toronto's downtown campus. Various observers have noted 'a little bonus flab' hanging from the sagging visages of twenty-somethings. Undergraduates and professors alike seem to have "packed on" two to four pounds in recent weeks. Robarts Starbucks employee Tara Chrisholm has noticed people "seem to have given up. They're pleading for beverage-only caramel syrup on their god-damn scones and, like, obliterating the metallic containers of cream next to the straws," motioning to the bustling 'beverage creation' station to her left. 

 

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper