'Toike Oike' Circulation Reaches Double-Digits as Shivering Students Begin Using Paper as Fire-Starter

 

Toronto, ON: One of The Boundary’s generously-named “rivals” has reached new publication heights. As the unrelenting cold and a frigid cold spell waft into Toronto, undergraduates have taken an unprecedented interest in the fizzling paper. The Boundary has received numerous reports that students have started to rip the paper off stands by the dozens. Initially, Toike Oike representatives were ecstatic, releasing a flurry of celebratory MySpace posts. But this enthusiasm quickly turned into dismay, as secondary reports emerged citing the true motivations behind the uptick in circulation.

 

Shivering, blue-lipped students have been using Toike Oike as a convenient and free fire-starter. Controlled fires, occasionally attracting hundreds, have been spotted at almost every minor intersection around campus, at times bolstered by charred, life-size cardboard cut-outs of the Toike’s masthead.

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper