Future Leaders, Intellectuals Line Up for Enlightened Discussion at Dance Cave

 

Toronto, ON: On Friday night, a gaggle of Canada’s best and brightest organized for their weekly discussion on the pertinent political, philosophical and ethical issues of the day at Dance Cave.

 

“Nothing gets me more fired up to debate Nozick’s entitlement theory like Bruno Mars on repeat and watered-down tequila shots,” reported Mark Klassen, a third-year political science specialist and self-described “woke individual". Klassen was joined by a large crowd of revellers in similar academic fields and levels of intoxication.

 

“I find that the seemingly arbitrary rejection of potential Dance Cavers by the bouncers is an apt analogy for understanding the American immigration system,” mumbled Klassen when asked to expand on the supposed link between Dance Cave's admittance policy and the discourse. "Also the chicks here are thick.”

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper