Tequila Jack’s Bouncer Stunned by Striking Resemblance Between Patron’s Face and Government Identification

Toronto, ON: Reports from The Boundary's secondary school correspondent assert that last Saturday, area youth Clint Hiber was admitted into neighbourhood party spot Tequila Jacks by the security on duty. However, it was not a run-of-the-mill acceptance, one source told The Boundary, as there was reportedly a striking resemblance between the youth who entered the bar, and the portrait displayed on the government identification. 

 

The famously professional security detail took several glances, utterly stunned and disturbed that the identification was, indeed, identical. It apparently took three other security guards and a call to the owner, on vacation in Bermuda, to confirm that this was acceptable for entrance.

 

Upon interviewing locals, it seems that this was the first incident of the sort this year. In the previous instance, a cold and busy February night during the province-wide Reading Week, the dissident-in-question was immediately taken into custody and removed from the premises.

 

In light of both these incidents, only government identification, that has a “rough resemblance”, and has been “briefly skimmed” by bouncers will be accepted.

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper