Butt Dial to Campus Police, Passive-Aggressive Voicemail Reveals Group Has Been on Strike Since 2014

Toronto, ON: Area student Tim Blake unintentionally rang Campus Police on Sunday morning, setting off a verbal firestorm from his iPhone 5s. His errant butt-dial prompted Campus Security's voicemail message, a "passive-agressive" monologue outlining the group's current situation as an unsatisfied, on-strike entity. 

 

Blake was not aware of the strike, nor were his friends. "I'm not sure the administration is even aware..." stressed Blake, trailing off. "That's what spooks me. It's crazy. What if - what if someone is in danger? Who will be there to look threatening while the Toronto Police save the day?" 

 

The group's four-year hiatus has led to decreased drama on campus. Usman Asfar, a fifth-year student, recalls his first year. "They would always get their pant-legs caught in their bike chains and ambulances had to come in, comfort them, et cetera. It cost the university thousands [of dollars]." 

 

 

Photo credit: http://www.socimage.com/user/ontspcassociation/3264375445/1305008539873384754_3264375445

 

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper