Rotman Student Builds Largest Network of Connections Known to Man

 

Toronto, ON: After four years of above-average work within the University of Toronto’s Rotman Commerce program, The Boundary can officially confirm that Charlie Grant has built the largest network of connections in the history of mankind.

 

Thanks in part to the over 400 networking events organized by the Rotman administration, and a serious devotion to the craft, Grant has finally done it. 

 

His success has sent shocks through the program. Those who know Grant report that his iPhone X, currently at full capacity, exclusively stores three things: a long, retina-burning list of contacts, an overflowing Outlook mailbox, and the LinkedIn app.

 

Wringing every drop out of the program -- Grant attended every networking event and even coordinated a few of his own -- his bright and ambitious personality, coupled with his punchable face, has led countless industry executives to take notice and "snatch that business card." 

 

However, in a bizarre twist of fate, those close to Grant claim that his GPA is “abysmal” and his job prospects “bleak at best”. Yet through it all, Grant continues to cling to The Mantra: “It’s all about who you know.”

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper