Woke Warrior for Racial Equality Tells Peruvian Girl He is Totally into Asians

Toronto, ON: Lyle Kennedy, a white, landowning sixth-year male from Trinity College and self-labelled “champion of racial equality”, unsuccessfully flirted with a South American woman at a local bar on Friday. Tragically, Kennedy believed the target of his flirtatious ambitions to be of Asian descent. Kennedy, in a phone interview with The Boundary, would not admit his apparent “mislabelling”, insisting “[he] was right and she was wrong.”


According to witnesses, after a few minutes of hit-and-miss seduction, the smooth-talking warrior relayed how “into Asians” he was. The confused second-year, of Peruvian descent, was reportedly speechless, fleeing the area after Kennedy dropped his king-size Pabst Blue Ribbon.   



Photo credit: https://www.phillymag.com/g-philly/2013/11/12/guy-end-bar-josh-stephenson/


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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper