Isolated Closet Full of Wailing Infants, Diapers Seems Like Awesome Place to Crank Out a Few Readings

Toronto, ON: Robarts Library's new family study space is being praised for its innovative features and parent-friendly environment. Finished a mere three weeks ago, the new, grey, claustrophobic chamber of horrors successfully moves the stresses of childcare from the familiar comfort of one's home into an anarchical  group setting nine-storeys above the ground. Library spokesperson Anita Jefferies said the room was constructed to help ease the conflict between childcare and studies for the families of the university's master's and doctoral students.

 

Sizzling piles of freshly-discharged faeces wrapped in complimentary Pampers diapers dot the floor. Bouncy balls are thrown around the room with ferocity, frequency and precision, with the cheekiest children bouncing the balls off the foreheads of their parents, creating a never-ending 'wall ball'-type dynamic. And at 100/100 volume, Dora is the background music to it all with stacked, size-four-font subtitles for all 162 languages spoken at the university.. 

 

There's strength in numbers for the lovely rugrats. With a maximum capacity of 20 people, the room usually boasts a two-to-one, child-to-parent ratio, ensuring no shortage of antics.

 

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper