Future Fascist, War Criminal Takes Entire Group Study Room for Himself

Toronto, ON: Smug misanthrope Kevin McKelvey, a suspected perpetrator of crimes against humanity, casually annexed an entire fucking group study space early Saturday morning at the John P. Robarts Library.

 

According to witnesses, McKelvey was creeping around the tenth floor, presumably seeking a quiet space to hunker down and fine-tune the planning of his future war crimes. The suspect eventually barged into a four-person study space at 10:25am. 

 

Slapping convention in the face and shocking the collective human conscience, McKelvey occupied the area - and remained the sole occupant. 

 

After being confronted by incredulous Boundary staff, McKelvey said that his friends had, like, ditched him, man, and that he was "[waiting for them, hoping they'd show up]." 

 

 

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper