Career Centre Tells Student to Step it the Fuck Up

 Representatives of the Career Learning Network at the University of Toronto are pleading with one laid-back fourth-year student to “step it the fuck up.”

 

Emma Macintyre, a fourth-year sociology specialist, was lambasted by the group after it was revealed she had only half-finished her breadth requirements and was running with a 2.7 CGPA.

 

“She said law school—law school?” muttered an anonymous Career Learning Network intern. “You can’t just flip a switch; she needs to get her shit sorted, otherwise she’ll be gone with the wind.”  

 

Macintyre spent her entire third year in London at the University of King’s College—and upon her arrival, was found affecting a breezy British accent while boasting of her intercontinental sojourns.

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper