Student Still Searching for Hookup Subculture on Textbook Exchange Group

It is 11:35am, Tuesday morning, and Sarah Gould smiles as she completes another flirtatious yet cordial sale to a first-year student.

 

Entering the third week of a vigorous and profitable first quarter, Sarah, a bright, single second-year, has sold 35 textbooks—and captured zero hearts.

 

Traditionally a secondary marketplace where students meet for the sale of relevant textbooks, Sarah was under the impression that there were other young singles on the page looking for what she referred to as “extracurricular human biology”.

 

Initiating conversations and meticulously planning all meetups, Sarah’s ambitious nature has not proven successful thus far. While speaking with Sarah, she revealed some of her strategies. These include sending Instagram and Tinder profiles to potential buyers, arranging rendezvous at upscale French restaurants, and dousing the textbooks with her trademark perfume.

 

Sarah admits that perhaps she was mistaken about the nature of the Facebook group, but hasn’t given up hope completely, stating “I know someone in this f*cking school is down, I’ve just got to find them...”

 

In her eyes, students these days are far too reserved and timid about meeting new people. In her most recent sale, a European Civilizations textbook, Sarah told her buyer, “I love you more than the British love uncolonized land”. He simply replied, “so… $45, right?”

 

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper