New Russian Exchange Student "Pretty Skinny", Confrontational

Concern among POL100 students is mounting over the suspicious activity of an argumentative new Russian exchange student.

 

Igor [surname undisclosed], a member of U of T’s exchange program via the University of Rostov, has been accused of disrupting lectures with rambling asides and "incredibly offensive" slights to T.A.'s and professors alike.

 

While there have been no official charges levied against Igor, many of his peers have cited his "in-class antics" as a direct obstacle to their education. When confronted about his transgressions, Igor, within mere milliseconds, denied all accusations, adamantly repeating:

 

“I am Igor MacDonald, true Canadian patriot! For what reason I try and disrupt class?! You should try asking these questions to Hillary Clinton, see if she [is] healthy enough to answer!” 

 

Classmates have described to Igor’s skeletal build as "disturbing" and "sketchy". To many the criticism may seem unfair, but Igor’s frame combined with his cold, unwavering stare has led multiple students away from Igor. 

 

Kayla Smithers, a first year political science student, claims that her peers have been too hard on Igor, stating, “I’m not sure the poor guy even eats! I think it’s pretty obvious that Igor is going through a, well, rough patch.” When asked about Igor’s frequent disruptions, Smithers replied, “he’s just Russian, it’s all different over there!”

 

 

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper