Typical: Old White Male Claims to Know Exactly What Everyone Wants, Needs

Early last week, a portly, bearded white man asserted that he knew “exactly what everyone, the entire world, actually, wanted and needed.” Unmoved Victoria University students responded with rolled eyes, shrugs, and nasal exhales, with one student asserting that it was just the “sort of self-important bullshit” he had to put up with at his “Northrop Frye [Hall] lectures.”

 

 

The claimant, who goes by Kris Kringle, Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas, or simply Santa, defended himself later that day, claiming that he was merely “a hardworking, non-discriminating proponent of holiday cheer."

 

Fourth-year English specialist Aaron Leslie told The Boundary that he’s “not at all surprised” by Claus’s comments. Leslie continued: “Trust me, you don’t graduate from the University of Toronto without running into a few of these ‘omniscient’ old white dudes.”

 

 

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper