2nd Year Living Situation Quickly Descending into Lord of the Flies

  

The deepest time in the Canadian winter drives roommates Michael, Nick, Jordan and Jake to be in close quarters more frequently than any of them really want, thus driving them all to their wits-end with each other.

 

Tensions recently started to rise as Jordan’s usual 20 minute long showers in the high-traffic morning time of the shared bathroom space became extended to 30-40 minutes. This lengthy use of the bathroom has made other roommate, Michael, consistently late for his 10am class. Michael has voiced his concern but it has yet to be considered.

 

In tandem with this, it has been reported that Jake absolutely refuses to acknowledge that it is his turn to do the dishes. Jake, when asked if he realizes the sink is full, replied to The Boundary explaining: “[He’s] pretty sure only like one of those dishes are [his] so it’s not really [his] problem”.

 

Nick has also decided his new place to keep his dirty laundry is scattered throughout the whole apartment. Especially the couch, where most of his socks are hanging off of causing the other roommates discomfort while they try to play Xbox.

 

Michael, in effort to find a solution to the growing mess and lack of order in the apartment, attempted to create a chore and general schedule to regulate who would do what and when. With great opposition from Nick, the spreadsheet was ripped off the wall, crumpled into a ball and thrown at Michael.

 

“This just wasn't what I thought living with the boys was gonna be like”, expressed by Michael, “it was supposed to be lax and now? Now I don't even want to spend Saturday nights with these dudes anymore”.

 

Without a supervising and unifying entity, the roommates have split off into two distinct factions. Michael and Nick: with a focus on pounding beers and hanging out on weekends. Jordan and Jake have responded by beheading a live pig in Michael’s room and pinning the rotting head to the apartment door, as a warning to all potential dissenters.

 

Story is developing

 

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper