8 Clever Ways to Save Money as a First Year Student

 

Many students struggle financially in their first year away from home. Whether it's blowing all of their money on weeknight pints, or buying Chomsky books to performatively flip through on the subway, it's not uncommon for a freshman's pockets to be empty before Halloween. These tips are not meant to resolve all of your financial woes, but hopefully they give students a little breathing room to survive between daddy's sweet, sweet e-transfers.

 

Thanks to Doug Ford’s Student Choice Initiative, you can now opt out of many of the useless fees imposed by UofT’s greedy clubs/programs. While UofT students consider Ford’s initiative to be a threat, we here at the Boundary like to consider it a blessing –– now go save some money.

 

Foster Parents Plan: $0.05

 

Sounds pretty impractical to me. Do orphans even exist anymore? What is this – mid-19th century London? Is Oliver Twist a Varsity Blue!? 

 

Centre for Social Justice - OPIRG: $0.50

 

Seems kind of vague...

 

Centre for Women and Trans People: $1.50

 

Okay, this one might be kind of important –– but a dollar fifty? Really!? Do I look like I’m made of money? 

 

Dollars for Daycare: $0.50

 

Mothers putting themselves through university while also caring for a young child have had it TOO good for TOO long.

 

Food Security for Students: $0.15

 

Fifteen cents is the better part of a quarter, which can buy you an entire piece of gum from the average candy dispenser. Your choice.

 

Health initiatives in Developing Countries: $0.25

 

Don’t feel guilty, most students will opt into this one and everything will be okay. Take advantage of your pathetically weak–willed peers and save yourself that quarter.

 

Student Refugee Program: $0.74

 

Who do you think you are, Bill Gates? Warren Buffett? Okay high roller, you can go ahead and light 74 cents on fire, I’m gonna do the responsible thing and open a savings account. Make my money work for me instead of the other way around.

 

Varsity Society Fee: $2.87

 

Have you ever actually READ a Varsity article? Sure, you share a headline every now and then, but what kind of nerd would actually read the body of an article?

 

Total Saved: $6.56

 

Thank us later, and make sure you don't spend it all in one place.

 

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper