Student Remembers Innis College

Toronto, ON: On Friday morning, fourth-year student Phillip Marchand recalled the existence of Innis College. After mulling the day over, a strange, tangential train-of-thought emerged, and Marchand remembered the small, easily-forgotten psuedo-school. "I hadn't thought about Innis in, like, seven, eight months", says Marchand. "Like, where even is it? Next to Robart's? [...] Or is that New?" A flustered Marchand receded into his armchair and devoted a dozen seconds to the question, ultimately capitulating and pulling out his iPhone.

In recent years, the college's low profile has not been a problem, reports Sarah Denis, a representative from the school. "It's the university's best-kept secret," Denis said, visibly trembling -- with rage or self-delusion was unclear -- as she spoke.