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  • Boundary Staff

Victoria College Subsidizes Inflated Egos of Six Unfunny Degenerates

Toronto, ON: A contingent of overconfident, odd-looking reprobates received a stimulus package that will allow their business to power forward in the midst of economic tumult. Even as the TSX weathered the splintering effects of the Dow Jones dip over the weekend, the Victoria College administration granted The Boundary a generous subsidy, one that guarantees the existence of the scandal-plagued publication for the next 12 months.

A company party was planned, leading the scraggly band of writers to their shiny new headquarters at 128 D'Arcy Street.

John MacDonald, who conceived of The Boundary in 2017, seemed visibly inebriated upon arrival, violently lurching into multiple interns before collapsing into an empty seat. Company representatives Tom Darte, conspicuously absent from the picture, and Alistair Tobeera followed quickly behind MacDonald, offering apologetic glances toward a shaken Varsity delegate, who was, after MacDonald's drunken antics, soon driven to nausea.

At this point, an opportunistic gang of the now-defunct 'Toike Oike' lurked out from the shadows, proceeding to shake down the incapacitated MacDonald. Unable to locate the subsidy, the anemic, on-edge troupe fled, hopping on a streetcar due east.

Story is developing.

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