Mature Student Passes Away Peacefully in Tutorial
OBITUARY: Eighty-two-year-old mature student Butch Stevens passed away peacefully during his HIS338 tutorial early Friday afternoon. The cause of death, at this time, is unknown, but fellow tutorial members recall being "lulled into a deep, sleepy stupor" by the tutorial's eye-glazing material. Butch's zest for life was unmatched. He was a campus celebrity--his retro fanny packs and unending supply of cigarettes made him a "big hit" outside of Sidney Smith. His patience and generosity were that of a saint: numerous third-years in HIS344 referenced him as a valuable and reliable primary source in Cold War-related assignments.
Butch would always have digestive cookies in his pocket or a wisecrack up his sleeve. He will be remembered for his humour, selflessness, and passion.