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  • Will Stoecker

Scariest Halloween Costumes By Department

Students across this great land are panicking in sync today. Being too preoccupied with midterms to orchestrate a killer costume can result in some evident social neglect. Don’t be Waldo for the third year in a row- switch things up with the get-up that most terrifies your program!

History - Interview with a Potential Employer

“My strengths? My weaknesses? I honestly didn’t expect to get this far…”

Mathematics - A Shower

Nothing more frightening than an ol’ rub-a-dub-dub, especially when Bahen is smelling as ripe as it is this time of the year.

Architecture - Toques That Actually Cover the Tips of Your Ears

God forbid the Daniels dwellers stay warm and stylish during this brisk fall.

English - A Heart-to-Heart with Your Dad

Pursuing a career in literary escapism is all fine-and-dandy until ol’ Pops waltzes in and wants to reflect on your past four years.

Computer Science - A Woman

Frankenstein, Count Dracula, the Boogeyman, Humans of the Opposite Sex: they’re all in the same boat when you’re a Comp. Sci Major.

Musicology - Spotify Playlist Algorithms

“Are we, as a society, really gonna let a fucking computer tell us what to listen to? No! I’m gonna continue listening to the same Liszt Sonata in B-Minor that I have been for the past month!”

Philosophy - A Barber

Picture Johnny Depp as Sweeney Todd, except he’s just a normal dude working at your local SuperCuts. If this sounds harmless to you, then you’ve clearly never closely examined Kant’s doctrine of “transcendental idealism.”

Psychology - Being Called “Daddy” Mid-Coitus

Or as we like to call it, “Freudian Foreplay.” This one will really get the wrong neurons firing for all the wrong reasons.

Ethics, Society, and Law - A 152 LSAT Score

Kiss your grad school acceptance letter goodbye and jump into the loving embrace of serving as a public defender in New Brunswick.

Engineering - One Page of Creative Writing

“Roses are red, violets are blue, what button do I press on my calculator to formulate a haiku? I’m spooked just thinking about it.”

Cinema Studies - Someone Who Hasn’t Seen Pulp Fiction

Good Lord. This one is a sure-fire way to drop every single jaw in Innis. Extra scare-points if the one wearing the costume aggressively claims that Friends is the best TV show ever made.

Rotman - Delayed Rent Payment from Your Parents

Oof, this one really hits home. Did they send it? Was there a wire-transfer complication, father? Should you ask them? Uncertainty is horrifying, and no model can accurately predict the amount of tears required for mommy to finally break and secretly snap a pic of Daddy’s credit card.

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