Have you Googled seasonal depression one too many times today? Are you talking yourself into loving the snow and cold weather? Are you praying that the small talk you had with your TA is going to help you on your final exam next week? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re finally experiencing the most wonderful time of the year: the holiday season. And, along with feeling peer pressured into Christianity and plotting the murder of Michael Bublé, what’s the most sacred, self-worth-defining holiday tradition? That’s right: Spotify Wrapped.
At lovely Vic, underground music listeners can’t wait to share their complete Spotify Wrapped with other quirky friends. From Tame Impala and Mitski to Phoebe Bridgers and Tame Impala again, Vic is abuzz with the sharing of not-at-all-basic listening habits.
But Spotify Wrapped season isn’t a happy time for all; a dwindling species of those without Spotify find Vic can become a dark and sad place. One brave student, Jenna Delar, recently did perhaps the bravest thing a modern day Vickie can do: come out to her friend group as an Apple Music user.
“I was shocked when I heard,” said Jenna’s roommate. “I just really thought we were connecting and now she tells me she doesn’t have Spotify? What next, she has less than two piercings? When will the lies stop?”
Feeling “awkward” and “unsettled” around her, Jenna’s friend group has reportedly cut her off entirely, maintaining that they “have nothing to talk about besides their Spotify Wrapped.” Said an anonymous source from within the group: “I’m not sure if a friendship can even continue if you don’t compare Wrapped playlists, you know?”
Jenna hopes her friends will soon forget about her faux pas. The Boundary applauds Jenna’s bravery and has agreed to fund a Spotify subscription so that she may return to life in the Vic community without being a social pariah.
Photo Credit: Emory Claire Mitchell & The Boundary Staff