With the start of the new semester, professors have been left to fend for themselves against an onslaught of technical difficulties, black boxes, and flooded chats. These erudite socialites, so used to constant companionship, are not taking well to the lack of student encouragement.
Philosophy professor Mark Ainsley reportedly snapped as class was beginning: “Alright, it’s ten past so we’re going to get started now. Can everyone see me? Hello...? Do... I see me?What... does it mean... to be seen?”
As the class went on, Ainsley became more and more frenzied, tearing through his stacks of philosophy books searching for the unattainable answer that would confirm his presence.
“I just thought he was getting really into the material,” says second-year Joel Mazizuki. “It’s rare to find such a passionate professor in Philosophy. They're all so old.” Alas, the students’ silent note taking, unseen by the professor as he lost his grip on reality, only served to increase Ainsley’s sense of isolation.
Mazizuki continued, “as soon as the prof called break we heard ‘The Sound of Silence’ and something like quiet sobbing come through his mic. At first I was laughing because I thought he forgot to turn off his audio, but after the third replay I just felt really bad for him.”
When asked about the experience, professor Ainsley simply replied, “All year I have been shrieking into the void—what if that is all humans can ever truly do?” His eyes seemed haunted by the weight of this epiphany.
Ainsley reportedly plans to take the rest of the semester off. It is yet to be determined if an equally zealous professor will take his place.
Photo Credit: Edutopia