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  • Jonah Wineberg

Philosophy Student Excited for Trolley Driver Internship



Experience without theory is blind, but work without pay is a great way to enter the stale job market! Following this precept closely, Immanuel Barnett, a second-year philosophy major and rail transport enthusiast, recently announced his acceptance for a trolley conducting internship.


According to Barnett’s so-called employer, the trolley driver program requires interns to direct trolley cars onto the correct and most utilitarian track. These vehicles often face malfunctions, so Barnett will also be required to solve any mechanical errors that arise, otherwise known as “trolley problems.”


Though Barnett is a committed philosophy student, reportedly “thinking all the time,” when asked about his least favourite unit of his major, Barnett revealed that he hates moral philosophy. “It’s so boring. I could barely pay attention during those lectures,” shared Barnett. “I can’t remember a thing from those classes. Thank God I don’t have to deal with those dumb ethical dilemmas anymore.”


Since he started the internship, Barnett reports that has noticed a strange number of passersby getting stuck on the tracks. The second-year brushed this off, saying that dealing with pedestrians isn’t his job. “I’m just here because I love trolleys. I don’t want to deal with too much pressure,” he explained. “Even if I have a couple of responsibilities, nothing could possibly ruin trolleys for me.”


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