The winter semester is quickly approaching its end and tutorials are heading towards their grand finale. While some students have locked down their participation marks as frequent contributors all semester, others find themselves in a desperate scramble to say something––anything––of substance. Take second-year Math student Jane Smythe, for example, and her MAT224 tutorial.
After a midnight epiphany reminded her that she “hasn’t said a single word in that class,” Smythe decided to carry out a mission impossible in hopes of salvaging her long-gone participation grade. Smythe stayed up the rest of the night and came up with a foolproof strategy: wishing her TA a good weekend.
After three dreadful hours of differentiation, integration, and hallucination, Smythe spoke to her TA for the first time before leaving the room for the last time.
“Yo, Dexter!” She waved cheerfully at the TA after a failed high-five attempt. “Heard you’re spending the weekend with your boyfriend studying for your topology finals. Geez, you’re lucky, man! Enjoy your weekend!”
“Yeah I have no clue who Dexter is,” says the TA, whose name is Matt Green.
“I never knew I was capable of doing something so challenging,” Smythe tells The Boundary. “I really hope it pays off so I won’t have another NCR on my transcript. I feel like Dexter and I really hit it off!”
“I’ve honestly never seen that student in my life,” says Matt Green. “I checked the attendance sheet––there’s no Jane Smythe in this class. There’s no Jane Smythe at UofT at all. What the hell is going on?”
Smythe declined The Boundary’s most recent request for comment.
Photo Credit: Natalie Cader-Beutel and Joseph Strauss