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Unrelenting Pretentious Chatter Leads Gertler to Attach Sound-Cancelling Masks to Every Last Philoso
King’s College Circle: President Meric Gertler promised to personally attach crude, sound-cancelling masks to “every [expletive] last...
Boundary Staff
Mar 20, 2018


Tequila Jack’s Bouncer Stunned by Striking Resemblance Between Patron’s Face and Government Identifi
Toronto, ON: Reports from The Boundary's secondary school correspondent assert that last Saturday, area youth Clint Hiber was admitted...
Boundary Staff
Mar 19, 2018


Strachan Dining Hall 'Soup of the Month' Features Snake Venom, Bones of New College, Woodswo
Toronto, ON: Back by popular demand, Trinity College's premier food supplier has re-introduced their premier dish. The hearty, plebian...
Boundary Staff
Mar 19, 2018


Area Social Justice Warriors Refuel at Fat Bastard Burrito Co. After Fiery 'Anti-Stereotype'
Toronto, ON: Between jaw-stretching bites of a soaking-wet 'Baja Chipotle Chicken' burrito, self-described social justice warrior and...
Boundary Staff
Mar 16, 2018


On 191st Birthday, UofT Two-Pieced, Rejected at Einstein's
Toronto, ON: On the eve of what should have been a stress-free, champagne-soaked celebration of life, an Einstein's bouncer, even after...
Boundary Staff
Mar 14, 2018


Future Leaders, Intellectuals Line Up for Enlightened Discussion at Dance Cave
Toronto, ON: On Friday night, a gaggle of Canada’s best and brightest organized for their weekly discussion on the pertinent political,...
Boundary Staff
Mar 13, 2018
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