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  • Patrick Fraser

“It’s Just a Head Rush,” Assures Friend with Fever



As a posse of Timberland clad yutes crowded into a Baldwin Village basement apartment, the heavy musk of dragon tang vape juice filled the air. Resident Johnny Ola, a third year Criminology student, had decided that he would rather stay in Toronto with his 15 housemates than go home to cozy Flin Flon, Manitoba. He dry-coughed into the open a few times after hitting the communal JUUL that he and his housemates bought last week. 


“Relax, bro, I feel fine,” he assured the room, but as he continued wheezing, doubts arose among the strung-out friend group. 


Marty Omar, Ola’s best friend, wheezed out his concerns: “Our nic tolerance was through the roof, dude. Now, Johnny’s coughing and shit. I don’t know, it just seems sus.”


Ola extended his hand, passing Omar the JUUL. “This isn’t a fever, bro. It's called a heady.” he said, rolling his eyes. 


As the boys hit the JUUL, they reported that they could “really feel” the 50 nic. The boys continued passing the vape around, along with any pathogens they carried previously. 


The Boundary will re-investigate the group’s health in 14 days. 


Photo Credit: Ted Fraser


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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper