Joseph StraussJan 31Student's Brain Reopening at 50% CapacityAs the Province of Ontario enters the first stage of a three-step reopening plan, residents can once again return to indoor venues...
Ben LeeJan 293-Year-Old Truck Enthusiast Recruited by Anti-Vaxxers“Beep beep beep,” said Brayden when asked to comment on the ‘Freedom Convoy’ protest.
Boundary StaffNov 21, 2021Dance Cave Packed With Newly Vaccinated 11-Year-Olds“It’s so good to finally be back in the cave,” says 11-year old Mikey, a pre-COVID regular.
Shane WangOct 6, 2021UCheck to Be Replaced by Big Red 'NO' ButtonIn an effort to simplify the school’s rigorous screening program, UofT has announced its plan to reduce UCheck to a single ‘NO’ button.
Nona JalaliSep 27, 2021Anti-Vaxxer Asks Teenage Son Where to Get Fake ID“Papa needs a fake, my guy,” said Gus, after five minutes of mainly silence.
Joseph StraussJul 22, 2021Blue Olympic Ring Forced to Isolate Following Covid ExposureThe blue ring's quarantine raises questions about whether it, or any of its ring-mates, have received a Covid-19 vaccine.
Nona JalaliJun 14, 2021Kin Student Refuses to Get Beta Variant"Do you know how many kale-centric meals I’ve prepped? Fuck. If I knew I could still be a Beta after all this I never would've started."
Natalie Cader-BeutelMay 19, 2021Nine-Year-Old Born on Leap Day Turned Away for 18+ VaccineMisty-eyed, Johnson revealed that his leap day birthday made childhood extremely difficult.
Keah SharmaMay 17, 2021Americans Relieved They Can Continue Not Wearing Masks“I mean sometimes I wore it on my chin as a fashion statement. But it didn't bring out my features, so I thought it was just best not to."
Keah SharmaApr 21, 2021Virus Snob Says Pandemic Hasn't Been Good Since First WaveHoffman went on to explain that he prefers a more cerebral brand of virus as opposed to “this Michael Bay blockbuster they call a pandemic."
Patrick FraserApr 15, 2021Frats Serving Watered-Down Vaccines to First Years"First years will love the frat experience: big house, big fun, big connections, and the best part, free vaccines for everyone!"
Joseph StraussApr 5, 2021Student Pickpockets Self to Feel Like They're Studying Abroad"At first I didn't know if it was worth the six-thousand dollars..."
Emory Claire MitchellApr 1, 2021COVID Update: Doug Ford Moves Province Into "Friend Zone"“Toronto, you may think that you’re not ready for the next step, but I really care about spending more time in you."
Joseph StraussMar 8, 2021Giveaway! LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to Trudeau’s Channel for Chance at VaccineShould the contest go according to plan, fans will have a tempting 1 in 37 million chance at obtaining two doses of the Pfizer vaccine.
Emory Claire MitchellFeb 10, 2021COVID Test Most Intimacy Experienced in the Past Year“The way he held the testing swab up to my nose was so gentle. It made me feel like a princess being swept away.”
Patrick FraserFeb 4, 2021Opinion: I Won't Get the Vaccine Until My Favourite Porn Star DoesHere's to the ones who make us feel the most.
Natalie Cader-BeutelJan 20, 2021Stoner “Totally Psyched” About New "U.K." Strain"Anyway, I’m so psyched to light up a fire English J."
Joseph StraussDec 24, 2020Public Health Ontario Warns to Steer Clear of Suspected Super-SpreaderThe man was traced as having illegally entered the country from the North Pole, based on hoof-prints left by his magical flying reindeer.
Sammy EdwardsDec 6, 2020Heart-Warming: COVID Denier Transforms Into Believer After I Sneeze On Them"By Boy George, that same Reid Simmons who was once burning schoolyard children’s masks had magically transformed into a COVID believer..."
Boundary StaffDec 4, 2020“Burwash Has Never Tasted Better,” Says Student with COVID Todd is lucky not to taste each ingredient in the “Sour Morrocan-Italian Cheesy Slice” served every month.