As the Province of Ontario enters the first stage of a three-step reopening plan, residents can once again return to indoor venues...

“Beep beep beep,” said Brayden when asked to comment on the ‘Freedom Convoy’ protest.

“It’s so good to finally be back in the cave,” says 11-year old Mikey, a pre-COVID regular.

In an effort to simplify the school’s rigorous screening program, UofT has announced its plan to reduce UCheck to a single ‘NO’ button.

“Papa needs a fake, my guy,” said Gus, after five minutes of mainly silence.

The blue ring's quarantine raises questions about whether it, or any of its ring-mates, have received a Covid-19 vaccine.

"Do you know how many kale-centric meals I’ve prepped? Fuck. If I knew I could still be a Beta after all this I never would've started."

Misty-eyed, Johnson revealed that his leap day birthday made childhood extremely difficult.

“I mean sometimes I wore it on my chin as a fashion statement. But it didn't bring out my features, so I thought it was just best not to."

Hoffman went on to explain that he prefers a more cerebral brand of virus as opposed to “this Michael Bay blockbuster they call a pandemic."

"First years will love the frat experience: big house, big fun, big connections, and the best part, free vaccines for everyone!"

"At first I didn't know if it was worth the six-thousand dollars..."

“Toronto, you may think that you’re not ready for the next step, but I really care about spending more time in you."

Should the contest go according to plan, fans will have a tempting 1 in 37 million chance at obtaining two doses of the Pfizer vaccine.

“The way he held the testing swab up to my nose was so gentle. It made me feel like a princess being swept away.”

Here's to the ones who make us feel the most.

"Anyway, I’m so psyched to light up a fire English J."

The man was traced as having illegally entered the country from the North Pole, based on hoof-prints left by his magical flying reindeer.

"By Boy George, that same Reid Simmons who was once burning schoolyard children’s masks had magically transformed into a COVID believer..."

Todd is lucky not to taste each ingredient in the “Sour Morrocan-Italian Cheesy Slice” served every month.