The blue ring's quarantine raises questions about whether it, or any of its ring-mates, have received a Covid-19 vaccine.

"Do you know how many kale-centric meals I’ve prepped? Fuck. If I knew I could still be a Beta after all this I never would've started."

Misty-eyed, Johnson revealed that his leap day birthday made childhood extremely difficult.

“I mean sometimes I wore it on my chin as a fashion statement. But it didn't bring out my features, so I thought it was just best not to."

Hoffman went on to explain that he prefers a more cerebral brand of virus as opposed to “this Michael Bay blockbuster they call a pandemic."

"First years will love the frat experience: big house, big fun, big connections, and the best part, free vaccines for everyone!"

"At first I didn't know if it was worth the six-thousand dollars..."

“Toronto, you may think that you’re not ready for the next step, but I really care about spending more time in you."

Should the contest go according to plan, fans will have a tempting 1 in 37 million chance at obtaining two doses of the Pfizer vaccine.

“The way he held the testing swab up to my nose was so gentle. It made me feel like a princess being swept away.”

Here's to the ones who make us feel the most.

"Anyway, I’m so psyched to light up a fire English J."

The man was traced as having illegally entered the country from the North Pole, based on hoof-prints left by his magical flying reindeer.

"By Boy George, that same Reid Simmons who was once burning schoolyard children’s masks had magically transformed into a COVID believer..."

Todd is lucky not to taste each ingredient in the “Sour Morrocan-Italian Cheesy Slice” served every month.

“Mum, do you think this mask looks a bit… tight?”

Missing the usual Reading Week shenanigans that take place every Fall? Worry not, for there's a COVID-safe way to get as plastered as you...

“Do you have peace of mind now? Is this what you wanted?

Voitech is an expert at simultaneously weakening her immune system and strengthening her sense of academic commitment.

“Right, Mississauga...yeah, I’ve never heard of it. I just hope it doesn’t spread to the GTA.”