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  • Patrick Fraser

Opinion: I Won't Get the Vaccine Until My Favourite Porn Star Does



To many Canadians, the vaccine has provided a glimmer of hope in a dark time for the world. Already, hundreds of thousands of Canadians have received their shot, immunizing them from the virus and letting them return to greeting new acquaintances with a French kiss. To encourage people to get the vaccine, many celebrities have voiced their support for it or posted videos of them getting the shot.

None of this means anything, though. Patrick Stewart and Arnold Schwarzeneggar just don’t have the reach they used to anymore; their respective roles in The Emoji Movie and The Spongebob Squarepants Movie feel like long forgotten treasures of cinema. To be truly effective, the government needs to recruit the most trusted, relevant group of celebrities.

The ones who make us feel the most. That’s right. The government needs to reach out to the top porn stars and give them the vaccine to prove its efficacy.


Nothing would win over the sceptics more than a video of their favourite pornographic thespians being injected with the Moderna or Pfizer vaccine right before they get uh… you know. An added bonus of this would be that they could finally get back to work, which would improve other workers’ productivity exponentially. A relaxed, pleased worker is an effective one.


If the average Canadian can’t yet get the vaccine, at least try and influence nay-sayers into supporting it in a way that’ll be seen, like, once, maybe twice—no more than twice a day.


Photo Credit: PYMNTS

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The Boundary is the University of Toronto's Satire Paper