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  • Patrick Fraser

Frats Serving Watered-Down Vaccines to First Years



The COVID-19 pandemic has forced many Canadians to restructure their entire lives. Classes have moved online, restaurants are shut down, and all Sky Zone locations have closed. Saddest of all if you’re a first-year with a late birthday, UofT's renowned frat parties have been shut down by Big COVID.


Delta Beta Sigma Kappa Gamma Chi –– UofT’s leading frat in settled lawsuits and Greek letters –– has been hard-hit by the pandemic, as they’ve been unable to host parties, socials, or even shindigs of any kind.


“We’re feeling good now that we’ve got the vaccines,” said Eric Preston, frat president. They plan to vaccinate all brothers by the end of June, in time for pledges to finish rushing. “Then the, uh, initiations can start again,” said Preston with a grin, while holding a sinister-looking paddle and twelve bars of unsweetened chocolate. “First years will love the frat experience: big house, big fun, big connections, and the best part, free vaccines for everyone!”


However, some party-goers have commented skeptically on the vaccine quality. “Yeah, they’re probably watered down. I’ve had like five vaccines but I still don’t feel anything,” said one disappointed first-year. “Or maybe it’s piss.”


Photo Credit: Joseph Strauss

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