Participation, Confusion at All-Time High in Philosophy Tutorials
Reports flooding The Boundary’s headquarters claim there is a sky-high level of contribution as well as confusion in nearly every philosophy tutorial on campus this morning.
Red-eyed philosophy major and on-the-fence solipsist Laura Sheppard was shoulder-deep in a bag of Ms. Vickie's when The Boundary surreptitiously breached a PHL101Y1 tutorial at around 8:40am. Sheppard came up for air and a blurry discussion after repeated requests for comment. "It's just fucked... [...] .... 'cause, like, I'm probably the only brain... to ever, uh, exist? I, uh, don't think I agree with Paul [absent tutorial member] about, his thing, uh... [...] ... yeah."
Mistakenly or not, it seems philosophy students have also slipped into other tutorials. BIO202H teaching assistant Alex Turnbull says she was "just perplexed," when second-year philosophy specialist Patrice Auberge hijacked her tutorial's discussion of the Krebs Cycle.
Fending off polite interruptions by Turnbull, Patrice launched into a 18-minute monologue: "Descartes said there was, like, a mind and a body... how does that, like, neglect, uh, the possibility of the Earth being, uh, round? Who said Krebs wouldn't agree with Descartes on the cycle of life? And stuff?"
A pack of laid-back philosophy sit-ins nodded their heads in and slowly snapped for Patrice.