Five Things to Avoid in Your First Year

1.Interacting with Rotman Students

Interacting with these "people" will trigger an unskippable cutscene featuring the most mind-numbing, idiotic conversations, in which you will hear the worst takes imaginable about the current state of the economy or their vacation to Dubai at their fourth home. By the end of the conversation, your brain capacity will have been halved.

2. Eating at University College Dining Hall

The Howard Ferguson Dining Hall is Toronto's most infamous undocumented toxic hotspot known for delivering food poisoning and diarrhea to anyone unfortunate enough to consume their sludge. It is widely recognized that the reason UC doesn't do any actual events for their students is the expense of bribing the City of Toronto to allow them to maintain their overpriced sludge factory to steal money from innocent first years.

3. Growing Shrooms in your Residence

We at The Boundary can understand that international tuition may be expensive, but degrading yourself to growing shrooms out of your residence is not only illegal, but would probably fucking suck to live with. The Boundary recommends more appropriate side hustles such as murder-for-hire schemes, human trafficking, and racketeering as suitable alternatives for generating revenue.

4. Offering a Large Tim Horton's Double Double to Unconscious People

An unconscious person does not want a large double double. An unconscious person cannot answer if they want a large double double because they're unconscious. If they were conscious when you asked them if they wanted a large double double, and they said yes, but when you got back from Tim's they were unconscious, don't pour the coffee down their throat.

5. Floorcest

A crime on the level of murder, terrorism and selling fake Adderall pills, floorcest is the crime of having sex with an individual living on the same floor as you. Those who commit such an indecent and loathsome act should be publicly flogged and exiled from the freshman friend group that will inevitably break up after the first year. They should also be forced to see each other in the all-gender washrooms at 3 A.M. every Saturday after the unavoidable breakup for the rest of eternity.