SidSmith Installs New Asbestos

At the heart of the Faculty of Arts & Science lies Sidney Smith Hall, famed for its institutional importance to the University. Now, the University of Toronto has revealed to The Boundary that as part of its campus revitalization work, SidSmith will be modernized to include brand-new, state-of-the-art asbestos in its ceilings. 

Graduate students in Environmental Studies and Chemistry took part in this work, taking painstaking care to find the latest, most damaging asbestos to install. The asbestos will be manufactured in the new Lash Miller Chemistry Building extension, using AI and machine learning to improve asbestos manufacturing throughput.

“This is a great opportunity for students to learn about what it means to build a safe, education-conducive facility to enable our students to succeed,” said Stephen Wright, Dean of Arts & Science. Rest assured that the asbestos molecules currently infiltrating every cell of the struggling MAT148 (formerly MAT137) students in the math learning centre, located in the SidSmith basement, will continue to do so.

John Choi, a first-year undergraduate, said he “always wondered what the yellow triangles in the ceiling meant.” He added that he was happy the building was finally getting a renovation, since he’d always found it “dingy.”

The Dalla Lana School of Public Health declined to comment.