Former Business Student Finally Has Saturday Night Plans
Former business student and current anime enthusiast Elon Musk will finally have plans this Saturday night for the first time in, well, ever. Despite the protests of numerous cast members and groans from the show’s few remaining fans, the tech tycoon will be hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend on NBC.
Musk, who usually spends his weekends plunging into mounds of gold coins while spreading medical disinformation, is ecstatic about the upcoming event.
“COVID has been really hard for us centibillionaires,” explained Musk to The Boundary’s oligarchic correspondent. “I used to be able to bide my time overseeing the slaves in my lithium mines and smoking pot with Joe Rogan. Now I’m confined to merely calling for Latin American coups on Twitter and watching my net worth swell as my employees die.”
While some have criticized the decision to put a pandemic profiteer on live television, business students around the world have taken a break from styling their hair and ingesting cocaine in order to defend the decision. “Our type usually doesn't get invited to things,” explains Jeff Gates, a third-year student at the Rotman School of Management. “It’s inspiring to see a business magnate shattering the glass ceiling and finally getting what he wants. At last, the rich are getting their fair share of the pie.”
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