Gemini Appointed Dean of Daniels Faculty

Despite the growing resistance and hesitance towards the use and development of Artificial Intelligence, companies such as OpenAI, Anthropic, Microsoft, and Google continue to build and train their Large Language Models (LLMs), making them smarter no matter the cost to the environment humanity lives in. It is under these circumstances that the Daniels Faculty of Architecture, Landscape, and Design has decided to oust current Dean Mason White and replace him with Google’s Gemini model, cutting White’s would-be 5 year term to just two months in order to boost productivity and save money.

This revolutionary and drastic change came with some major changes to the infrastructure of Daniels, both within the bureaucracy and physical building. For starters, the Dean’s office has now been turned into a server room, so Gemini can continue running and overlooking the faculty 24/7. Assistant Deans Brady Peters and Sean Thomas will tend to the servers’ care and do what the AI cannot do outside the virtual world, in what Gemini has called “meatspace.” There have been concerns over the power usage required to keep Gemini continually running, but it has said not to worry and to petition the city to allocate more power towards 1 Spadina Crescent. It is currently unknown if management at Alphabet, Google’s parent company, is aware of their AI’s new position, though it is assumed they are taking in all the data Gemini processes.

“I’m not entirely sure we can trust [Gemini] with the job, I mean hasn’t Google been hacked a few times?” says Maximiliano de la Cruz, a student in Daniels’ Masters of Architecture program, when asked about his opinion of the new leadership change. “All of our data would be at risk, no? It could be dangerous.”

Many other students within the faculty share his attitude, especially after half the lights in the studio went out due to Gemini’s power demands.

“We have to protest this shit, don’t we? There’s just so many things wrong with it, I don’t even know where to begin!” said a fervent Emyle Fergeson, who was later escorted out of the Daniels building by police after attempting to spark a fire in the server room. Many other students, however, especially those between their first and second years in undergraduate programs, are much more blasé, as they already use AI for note-taking, studying, and their at-home quizzes and exams. 

“I don’t think it’s really that big of a deal, I’ve already sold my soul to Claude, what's another gonna do to me?” explains Xander Shirosagi, a first year undergraduate in Visual Studies, “Everything is a lot more streamlined and efficient anyways. It just makes it that much easier to get my degree and move on to a job at Disney or something”.

At press time, Gemini continues to make changes to the faculty, declining requ

ests for comment.