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  • Jonah Wineberg

“I’ll Do It Over Reading Week” Says Student in Labour

Midterm season is an arduous time of prioritizing assignments and pouring in hours of blood, sweat, and tears to get the job done. With reading week around the corner, however, many students are tempted to postpone their labour. Larissa Millis, a pregnant BMS major whose water broke 63 hours ago, is one of these students.

“I have other things to worry about first,” Millis reported. “Is this baby worth 25% of my Media Revolutions course? Yeah, I didn’t think so.” Friends, family, and doctors have pleaded for her to go to the hospital, only to be told by Millis that she’ll deliver the baby “when she’s feeling it.” Her Media Revolutions professor even offered to give her an extension for the course midterm, but Millis refused, claiming that she’d only take an extension when she really needed one.

Millis was spotted on her phone playing Angry Birds in Robarts Library while clearly in active labour as onlookers watched in horror. “I swear I saw the baby for a second,” said a nearby studier, “but it's still not the worst thing I’ve seen happen in a study room at Robarts.” Close friends of Millis are beginning to question if she ever intends to deliver the baby, as they have discovered that she has bought a flight ticket to Florida for some sort of reading week getaway.



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