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  • James Raposo

Insomniac Blames Woke Prof



The debate over the literary canon is one fraught with disagreement among students and faculty alike. At the University of Toronto, an institution which brags of its commitment to diversity and tolerance for different perspectives, many professors adjust their syllabi to accommodate for more progressive times. Some students, however, report losing sleep over this. 


“I am just sick and tired of all this virtue-signalling, identity politicking, liberal pandering,” yawns Rotman student Jeff Romney while rubbing his eyes and chugging a red bull. Since the start of his degree, Romney has been an outspoken critic of the neo-Marxist agenda to cram post-colonial analyses into his group 1 breadth requirement. “I haven’t slept in 3 weeks because of this extremely ideological and close-minded woke prof. What happened to focusing on the classic thinkers? Like Heidegger? I love Heidegger, especially his later stuff.” 


Romney, in between rubbing his dark bag-ridden eyes, is pleading for the university to sanction Professor Libero over his doctrinal pedagogical methods. In Romney’s words, “I have had enough of this and I will be pursuing some retribution for a totally wasted semester. How is anybody supposed to find rest or reprieve with a woke prof forcing all his students to be just like him?” Over the course of our interview, Romney’s paleness grew increasingly severe, and after a brief unprompted speech on Hayek’s economic calculation problem, he passed out. Medical assistance has been sought out and we are awaiting news of his awake status. 

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