You only see it twice a year—no, it’s not your situationship that you’ve been trying to quietly cut off—but the hordes of UofT hopefuls that tour the campus in the Fall and Spring. Campus tours give prospective students the opportunity to learn about the overly complex college system, hear about our campus’ “commitment to sustainability,” and see some of the best buildings our university has to offer, Robarts included. However, students have noted that at no point during their tour were they given a walkthrough of Kelly Library. Why is this ornate mecca of the St. Mike’s community being hidden from future students?
To get to the bottom of this, we interviewed a UofT tour guide, who chose to remain anonymous. “In the early days, we used to let touring students peek into the window of Kelly,” they shared, “But unfortunately, most of them would immediately flee the group after just a look at the concrete beast. Now when we pass the library, I tell the tour groups that the building is a just a part of a uWaterloo satellite campus.”
The Boundary reached out to a number of St. Mike’s students looking for Kelly library-lovers to defend the exclusion, but alas, none could be located. A student found studying in Kelly Cafe on the first floor of the library, after we bothered her a couple of times, shared that she understands why they don’t show this place to the newbies. “I come here to rot and mourn my life decisions,” she scowled, drinking a neither-hot-nor-cold black coffee. “If a horde of wide-eyed virgins came my way, I would hope that the simple sight of my resting Kelly face would scare them away.”
Indeed, our Boundary correspondent was effectively frightened by this rare Kelly-goer’s threats. Though excluding a visit to the brutal building may successfully entice students to enrol at UofT, one may wonder if bypassing the building is delaying the inevitable—the eventual realization that UofT is perhaps best embodied by the hallowed asylum-like halls of John M. Kelly Library.