Leaked Kelce Pre-Nup Reveals Secret Taylor Swift NFL Harem

NEW YORK -- In a controversial ceremony at Madison Square Garden, pop princess Taylor Swift married NFL star Travis Kelce, in what is somehow the most cliché moment of both of their focus-group approved careers. Rumours swirled online about the possibility that their union might be subject to a pre-nuptial agreement, given that Swift is a billionaire and Kelce once ended a tweet about a woman with “#plus.” The Boundary is excited to report that an anonymous source has contacted us with a document that they claim is the agreement in question.

Much of the document is standard legalese protecting Swift’s assets, but one section at the very end caught the eyes of our on-staff law student, Dick Hardin. 

He reports: “I’ve never seen anything quite like this! It says here that Travis Kelce agrees to be co-husbands with every other professional football player in the NFL, and that they will all live in the cargo hold of her private jet, where they will remain unless Taylor decides she wants to see them. It’s highly unorthodox.”

When contacted for comment, a spokesperson for the NFL said that while the league had not formally consented to this contract, the player’s association had voted near unanimously in favour for a motion titled “Everyone Gets to Cuck Travis.” The spokesperson could not confirm whether the players understood that they had surrendered their legal existence to a woman who would cross Front Campus by plane. The Boundary urges its readers to read contracts before they sign them, unless they’re into this sort of thing.