Lesbian Students So Broke, They Can’t Afford U-Haul

Moving in together with your partner is a major milestone in most relationships. This, however, isn’t the case for sapphics, for whom the U-Haul has long occupied a significant aspect of dating culture. For Alex Wu (they/them), an Environmental Anthropology major, and Sydney Gibson (she/her), a Medieval Studies specialist, living together naturally seemed like the next step after knowing each other for 42 days. 

“We met at Pride,” Sydney comments. “I was marching with the NDP while Alex was on Gong’s float taking pictures of him in his batsuit. We started talking, exchanged numbers, and six days later they were my girlfriend!” Since then, their relationship has progressed unprecedentedly fast. Sydney informed the Boundary that the two were planning to move in together before the upcoming academic year. There is, however, one problem: they are both extremely broke. 

“I used to work at a coffee shop on Church Street,” Alex says. “They fired me because they’d already filled the nonbinary lesbian portion of their diversity quota. Apparently they need a trans guy to balance it out.” 

Sydney, however, has remained unemployed by choice, as her expertise in medieval Irish beekeeping law has proven difficult to translate into the current job market. “I’m holding out for a position that actually values my expertise, I don’t want to sell myself short. I haven’t seen any job postings that list knowledge of the Bechbretha as an asset, only Excel, which I don’t really believe in.” 

Despite their dire financial circumstances, the two are still set on the move. They have since began figuring out the logistics, which seems to be somewhat difficult on an income of zero dollars currently. “We’ll be fine. We’re both really resourceful,” Sydney brushed off. 

At press time, the two had launched a GoFundMe titled “Help Two Lesbian University Students Raise $20,000 CAD Because Neither of Us Own a Car or Has a License and Need a U-Haul and Ikea Furniture and To Pay Our Bills.”