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Clare Mooney

MAT137 Air Condemned by UN for Biological Warfare

This just in: The United Nations have deemed the air of the MAT137 classroom “biological warfare.” 

The infamous first year math course has been declared to have a scent “unsafe for human consumption” according to these diplomats, causing concerns for the general public, particularly those enrolled in the course. 

Swarms of first year students have dropped the class, claiming this action is for “their own safety” and has “nothing to do” with the difficulty of the course.

The UN has recommended that students shower daily, wear deodorant, and behave honestly during the newly required smell tests. 

One TA, Adam Fritz, commented on the situation, noting the behavior of unshowered students as, “disgraceful” and “outright disgusting.” Fritz, on the verge of tears, went on to share his experience,

”I became a TA to help people, and I am indescribably disappointed in the way that this class has been treating one another. I’ve had to put on a “How To Shower” video during my office hours, despite no one attending them. This is a global emergency and a war crime. I miss wearing a mask every day.”

If you or one of your loved ones has been impacted by this course, you may be entitled to financial compensation. 




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