Movie Filming at Vic Not Even Subversive

As Victoria College once again becomes the latest backdrop for a Tinseltown motion picture, local cinema studies student Georgette Costanza just can’t help but feel that the latest Hallmark Channel production is missing a certain je ne sais quoi. “This film is not subversive enough. There is a complete lack of an unexpected element to this picture, and its plot is simply too linear and one-dimensional to exist in our sphere of being,” she remarked.

When asked to elaborate on her discontents, Ms. Costanza explained that she would have made a number of changes in order to make it into a proper moving picture worthy of the campus distraction. Costanza suggested that “complex and nuanced” filmmaking techniques could have been implemented to create a more artistic piece, including the use of more Dutch angles and Kubrick stares. “What we have here is a basic audio-visual product that insists upon itself,” said Costanza, who then proceeded to cough for five minutes on the smoke of a poorly hand-rolled cigarette she’d lit with a match.

Costanza was later seen attempting to steal lightbulbs off the set for her “totally unique and original” short film about a young woman who takes a lot of drugs and has a complicated relationship with her father.