Myhal Dancers Swarm, Consume Local Man

MYHAL CENTRE -- “It all happened so fast- I- I didn’t understand what I was watching until I saw that he was gone," says electrical engineering student Stacy Scott. “Not necessarily the worst thing I’ve seen or experienced in Myhal though.” 

Stacy is one of the few witnesses of a brutal crime committed on the ground floor of the Myhal Centre for Engineering Innovation & Entrepreneurship last Thursday. She sat down with The Boundary to make sense of the event. “Luis and I knew the dancers would be there, they’re always there, he knew to walk around them, but he didn’t, I don’t know why, I don’t-” 

Ms. Scott was emotionally unable to continue the interview.

The Myhal Centre is a dark and confusing place, partially due to its permanent inhabitants, the Myhal Dancers. Their exact origin is shrouded in mystery, but legend says they were cursed never to leave the premises of 55 St. George Street after making deals with the Devil for CS internships. They do not eat or sleep, they only dance. 

The Thursday night incident has been described by UofT Campus Safety as “an assault and disappearance of unknown nature.” Witnesses claim that curious third year Luis Layton walked directly into a group of Myhal Dancers and was quickly swallowed by a circle of 30 individuals moving in unison. When the group dispersed three minutes later, he was nowhere to be seen. All that was left of him was a water bottle and a programmable graphing calculator, which was quickly snatched and incinerated by the Math Department. 

In the aftermath of the tragedy, Campus Safety is recommending students exercise caution when walking to class in Myhal, and monitoring Instagram dance trends to predict the Myhal Dancers’ next move(s).