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  • Jonah Wineberg

New Vending Machine Snacks Suck



Vending machines have always been a source of solace for weary students, offering a quick burst of delicious sugary energy between long lectures. This monolith of human ingenuity, however, has recently seen a significant drop in quality. Vin Dinkle, a third year UofT student, has voiced his irritation with the vending machine options at the Robarts Library.


“These snacks are practically inedible,” reported Dinkle. “I’ve tried all of the options a few times, and I still don’t see the appeal.” He has deemed that the most tolerable treat is the Tops 62304 8.5 x 5.5-Inch Heavyweight College Rule and finds the worst snack to be Bic.


Dinkle claimed that the snacks from this vending machine have given him extreme digestive issues and lavatory-related complications. After his daily trips to the vending machine, he has reportedly spent 2 hours a day in the Commons washroom. “I’m kind of hooked on this new machine,” Dinkle said.


Though Vin Dinkle has claimed that he has stopped spending money at the machine in protest of the new products, Boundary staff noticed that during the interview, his entire mouth was stained Bic blue.

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