Parents Shocked by "Gender-neutral" Washrooms

University, on top of crippling debt and a useless degree, is a time for individuals to be exposed to new ideas and viewpoints. This was certainly the case for John Sims, the concerned parent of an incoming Vic student, who, while on campus tour, was introduced to the radical concept of a “Gender-Neutral” washroom.

“I was looking for the can,” recounted Sims, "and I was shown to an unmarked door that just said 'washroom’.” When clarified that the space can be used by ‘anyone regardless of gender identity’, Sims bravely decided to enter despite not knowing what any of those words had meant. “I was bracing myself to have to use a litterbox or something, but when I opened the door, all I found was a normal toilet in every stall!” 

Since then, Sims has been seen curiously inspecting every all gender facility on campus. When asked for an opinion on the matter, Sims commented: “This is great! Turns out they’re just normal washrooms, but without all the piss on the floor!” At press time, Sims has made the decision to exclusively use these spaces here on out to “finally crap in peace.”