SDS256 Syllabus Lists 'Am I Gay?' Quiz Worth 30% of Mark

A staple of Gen Z queer adolescence, there is no shortage of homemade online personality quizzes offering the answer to society’s most pressing issue: whether the test-taker as an individual is or is not a homosexual. Students in SDS256: Methods in Queer and Trans Studies will get the opportunity to experience one firsthand. Students will have five opportunities to complete an iQuiz that looks like it was made by a fourteen year old and be diagnosed as a member of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community throughout the semester. Those who are found to have remained heterosexual shall fail the course unless they publicly flog themselves while wailing for make-up marks.

“So, like, I think I’ll fail the course if it tells me I’m straight by the end of this,” says 1st year Cole Wu-Strachan while holding his long-term girlfriend’s hand, “That might be an issue.” His girlfriend does not share his concerns, saying that she’s “always wanted a bisexual boyfriend” and that she can’t wait to “fujo out.” The interview had to be concluded early at this point, as The Boundary’s reporter received a tempting Grindr notification.

Supreme Chair and Glorious Red Sun of LGBTOut Callan Ordas praised this controversial move on X/Twitter earlier today, calling it a “fantastic first step in the mandatory reeducation of campus heterosexuals.” Meanwhile, Turning Point Canada’s U of T chapter called it “a terrifying apparition of woke nonsense on [their] beloved campus.” Most students thought the whole thing was hilarious, since they were all already queer to begin with.

Odds on Kalshi currently estimate a 12% chance that there will be ‘DL trade’ left on campus by December. The professor declined to comment.